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Showing posts from April, 2018

Life After, and the After-Life

A few weeks ago, I dreamt about my Bodie-Boy. It was a joyous moment, and he was as happy to see me as I was to see him. It’s the only dream of him I’ve had (that I can remember). It’s been 2 months and several days since we lost Bodie. If I think of him, I still disintegrate into tears. Because I miss him. Because of the way he suffered in his last few days. Because I want to tell him I’m sorry for how he suffered. Because I tried to be with him in his last few days, but I didn’t know how much pain he was in. I really thought he would get better. Because of the way he didn’t want to get into the car for that last trip to the vet. Because he knew. And I didn’t. Because maybe that wasn’t the way he wanted to leave - us, this life. Because I didn’t say the goodbye to him that I wanted to at the vet’s, because I didn’t feel I could get sentimental with all the vet people looking on matter-of-factly, and now I wish I had. And because I’m so sorry. There’ve been all sort