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Life After, and the After-Life

A few weeks ago, I dreamt about my Bodie-Boy. It was a joyous moment, and he was as happy to see me as I was to see him. It’s the only dream of him I’ve had (that I can remember). It’s been 2 months and several days since we lost Bodie. If I think of him, I still disintegrate into tears. Because I miss him. Because of the way he suffered in his last few days. Because I want to tell him I’m sorry for how he suffered. Because I tried to be with him in his last few days, but I didn’t know how much pain he was in. I really thought he would get better. Because of the way he didn’t want to get into the car for that last trip to the vet. Because he knew. And I didn’t. Because maybe that wasn’t the way he wanted to leave - us, this life. Because I didn’t say the goodbye to him that I wanted to at the vet’s, because I didn’t feel I could get sentimental with all the vet people looking on matter-of-factly, and now I wish I had. And because I’m so sorry. There’ve been all sort

A Story for my Bodie

In the endless magic of the universe, the nebula was a lake of blue mist with clouds of gold rising above it. Dots of white sparkled and shimmered. Cradled and nurtured inside the nebula, the little spirit was azure in colour. It was being born into being. It was being sung to by the stars, and magic and energy hummed and danced through the colours. The little spirit was growing closer to its birth. Then one day, the stars sang extra loud, the nebula of blue lake and gold clouds brightened, and all the white dots pulsed eagerly. A new figure appeared through the stars, running easily towards the nebula. It was dark-blue and dog-shaped. It had pointy, triangular ears and its tail was a little apostrophe, and its big heart cast a silver sheen all around it. It greeted the little spirit with flat ears, a bobbing tail and quiet joy. “I have come from where you are going. I’m your guardian spirit and I will guide you to your new home, and I will watch over you.” In the

Goodbye My Bodie-Boy

We lost our beautiful Bodie-Boy this week. It was completely unexpected. I’m half-functioning and half-tears. I miss my little woof-boy. He was a stumpy-tailed cattle-dog. They’re meant to be long-lived. He was meant to have a long, happy life with us. Instead, he’s gone. The whole world stopped, started again, but now nothing feels right. Bodie got sick. We didn’t realise how sick. We thought he was constipated. We encouraged extra water, we watched his bowel movements. When he vomited more than twice, we took him to the vet and got an injection of antibiotics. The vomiting went away, we gave him softer foods, we encouraged him, we watched his bowel movements and made sure he was still going. We knew he wasn’t 100 percent, but we weren’t too worried. He was still running and barking at cars; he was still wagging his tail. Then two weeks later, the vomiting came back. We went back to the vet, got antibiotics in tablet form. He was still eating. We were still monitorin